Just a thought…Stress
Just a thought…about stress. Anyone out there STRESSED? Do all caps stress you out? In a few days, Stress Awareness Month begins. Every April? It should be every day, but that’s not within my control so I’m not going to stress or worry about it (this song is now in my head…) You know what helps? Self-Care. I know…
Self-Care is a term that irritates me. Sorry not sorry, I think it’s an overused, diluted and misunderstood concept. When overused, the urgency and necessity to care for ourselves is minimized. When used casually or without authentic empathy, it can sound and feel patronizing/insincere even when the person is well-intentioned. Intention vs. Impact. Also, I’m not capitalizing S and C anymore. And definitely not ALL CAPS. Because that’s just stressful.
Here’s an example of how it can be misunderstood: You tell someone you're super stressed out and they reply, “Oh, you’re burned out? You should take a bubble bath.” Let me be very clear, I love bubble baths and they are, indeed, a form of self-care for a lot of people. Here’s a Mindful Bath guided meditation if that’s your thing. But it’s not everyone’s idea of self-care. And that’s ok. It’s personal.
The little things like bubble baths, pedicures, chocolates and trashy magazines and millions of other forms of self-care can lighten a heavy day. My love of a bubble bath as self-care is not everyone’s. Recommending a bubble bath to someone who nearly drowned might be the last thing they would ever want for self-care.
I have a confession…I have definitely been that girl… “Oh you’re stressed? You should: read this book, take a yoga class, eat more greens, drink more water, get a manicure, buy a new lipstick, get a massage…” I’m cringing at my own damn self and the way I’ve should on myself and others. And now I’m trying to give myself grace for not knowing better sometimes. And perhaps a request for forgiveness, understanding and grace from the many humans I’ve done that to.
We NEED more than these little, temporary forms of self-care.
Radical Self-Care is the Thing. It helps us move away from the guilt and judgement of self-indulgence. Why are we so reluctant to let go and fill our cups, in whatever ways we need. To create ways to nourish ourselves mind/body/soul and to protect and preserves ourselves. Otherwise we harm ourselves and others. More here about Radical Self-Care. It’s not always easy but the long lasting benefits are worth it. Try it, you’ll see.
Radical Self-Care Ideas from Ador Bin’s Journal:
#1 - Practicing Positive Self Talk
I cringed hard when I saw this. I’ve always had a hard time turning the volume down on toxic Negative Self-Talk. Negative Self-Talk is SO MUCH louder and attention getting than kind, positive self talk. I have definitely learned to notice when the negative self talker is especially active, ask (tell) it to STFU and then I can hear and believe the positive self talker more. Radical Self-Care right there. I won’t go through all of the ways to practice Radical Self-Care but #2 is…
MINDFULNESS!!
Are you surprised I’m happy about this? We’ve met connected somewhere before, right? As I’ve been saying to pretty much every person I encounter, (including you, no doubt) “You should try mindfulness, it really works!” Going forward, I promise to remove the word “should.” And if you ask, I will share the other many ways I practice self-care and Radical Self-Care. I’m sure you have a few to share, as well.
There are so many ways to care for ourselves with the little indulgences, never let go of those, please. Try to explore some of the ways to radically care for yourselves, too. That’s where the growth happens and it’s never too early or too late.
As Maya Angelou once said, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
Here’s a thought I’m having now about stress and self-care. Both self-care and Radical Self-Care are necessary to keep our cups filled to live with peace, equanimity and grace.
Just a thought…
Laura
